happy, fond, comforted

• rain after a heatwave (please let it rain soon)
• a foal hiding behind its mother
• getting to play football with kids
• the crunch of first snow
• the neighbours cat who's always happy to see me
• the feeling of water on my chest
• putting on the series "chantal" in the background. the dialect comforts me, it's like i'm at home. minus the crime and murders and all that
• "ugh i have to shave again" yippee i get to shave again :>

sad

• the remnants of the school i, my dad, and both my grandfathers went to
• "before the explosion" and "after the explosion"
• the feeling of 2020 returning to my body whenever im alone or isolated for too long
• (being perceived as an) abnormality

angry, frustrated

• theo "it's warm for a few days and suddenly everyone is going to die" francken
• my sister's anger flows over to me
• people are dying and theyre focusing on "alle witte mannen naar achteren" and having meetings on how to keep immigrants out of europe

scared, helpless

• the series of heatwaves we've had since june
• the hate campaigns about trans people in the us and uk. the way prominent belgian politicians seem to look up to us and uk politics.
• couldn't find my chicken & thought it had died

nostalgia (?)

• visiting de westhoek with my opa. musea, graves, monuments. going to that one gelato place in ypres, then the menenpoort. learning about the bombs and the gas and the illness, and how the poppies bloomed. you can say a lot about belgium but by god do the poppies bloom.
• my other grandfather explaining to me why our town hates that other town a bit further away. i still don't understand, but i enjoy listening to him talk. he rarely talks. he understands that i don't understand. it was after the war, you see.