my illustration jury didnt go well, which was kind of a surprise to me. the last feedback before the jury went well and i integrated all their feedback into my final work, which i thought was good but im supposed to think more for myself. which im not used to lol. and i knew i wasnt great and had lots of things to work on but it wasnt clear to me just how bad my way of working (or lack thereof) was. i have to redo my atelier class next year, because they think it will help me experiment and let loose more and i believe them. i need to work hard this summer, on my artwork and on my mental health and self confidence. im still kinda sad i have to redo it but i know it will help me and im also kinda excited because i get to do it all again and push myself further and make more work. so yeah!
might be getting a job! a restaurant didnt receive my mail & might be planning me in this summer. THANK FUCKING GOD. i just want to work and be busy. other than work i will be studying for my art history retake, which im not that stressed about tbh. i focused on the wrong things while studying and now i know what to pay attention to more. i also will hopefully be making lots of shitty and kinda good but mostly shitty artwork. i need to practice failing and feel ok with failure. very scary. and i need (/want) to study for my theoretical driving exam so i can start practicing for my practical exam so i can maybe pass that exam and have a bigger chance at getting a job next summer.
im kinda feeling old? i cant believe my baby sister is nearly 12 already. like shes gonna start middle school this is so strange. my little brother is gonna be 15 next school year. hes literally grown so much.. a few more growth spurts and hell be taller than me. his voice is getting a little deeper as well and im so grateful i was able to go on t before that happened so i still get that older brother experience.